REVIEW: Death Moth #1

Creator: Joseph Morris
Publisher: Torc Press
Review: Art Bee

A couple of weeks ago our own Cody “Madman” Miller messaged me and asked me a question. “If I give you a comic book, will you promise to review it?” Never afraid of trying something new, I agreed very quickly. My expectation was a really off the wall comic, and I was determined to find something positive about it. Cody presented the comic to me this past weekend. The cover told me a lot about what I was in for.

The good news is I am still alive, but it was rocky for a minute. The urges of self-mutilation surfaced and threatened to inhibit my review writing capabilities.

The cover of this comic could only have been more effective if it was emblazoned with a biohazard symbol, although that would not keep everyone from opening it. Unfortunately the cover IS the best part and that is not saying much. It is mediocre at best. The death moth that has been drawn on the cover looks like the moth version of Nemo.

Take a breath and open the cover . . .

On the inside cover is the following statement:

"Warning!
This comic is not for children!
Viewer discretion is advised."

This is partially true. After reading the entire comic, “children” should be changed to “anyone”.

Death Moth is about Jack Hawksmoth, who happens to be a super hero. Anyway he gets murdered, goes to hell, and comes back for revenge . . . sound familiar? This guy even jacks the emblem of Spawn. HEY, TODD MCFARLANE WANTS HIS IDEA BACK! The story is really a shit sandwich. It is broken, hard to follow, and pointless. The writer obviously created this comic to publish his nasty minded filth, which he must view as creative.

Most solo independent comic creators who I have met or read are artistic and creative, so they need no one else to be part of the project. In the case of Death Moth, Joseph Morris needs to hire an artist, writer, and letter before publishing any more trash. The artwork is completely horrific. There is nothing well drawn here. After finishing the comic I had the urge to gouge out my eye balls, soak them in kerosene, ignite them, and overnight the ashes to Joseph.

The last point I need to make about this comic is Joseph’s focus. He has a crude and very, very disturbing fascination with penises. A description cannot be provided, because I have been violated enough already and refuse to regurgitate that crap. Trust me it is bad . . . very bad.

Cody “Madman” Miller can be expecting a groin punch in the near future followed by the return of this comic. Now I am going to curl up in a corner and cry. I may need therapy.

REVIEW: Bulletpoof Chicken

Script/Letters: Jon Westhoff
Art (1-8), 19) Bobgar Onnelas
Art (9-18, 20-29) Mat Nixon
Colors: David Halvorson
Review: Cody "Madman" Miller

I decided to do a review of a back issue this time 'round the prickly pear, at least that was my intention. The plan was to review quite possibly my favorite comic in the whole of my funny book horde, Undead Zombie Biker Chickens From Hell and Other Tales #1 . . . yes. It doesn’t have the greatest artwork or the greatest writing, but the little bundle of awesome is wrapped in my favorite cover of all time. It does indeed have an undead zombie biker chicken from Hell perched majestically atop his chopper complete with wheels o’ fire. Just picture the Ghost Rider but with a flaming chicken skull complete with that little red flappy thing that chickens have . . . it’s a gottdamn thing of beauty.

So anyway, I dug my ol' friend out of the short box that contains my most prized comics and that’s when I remembered I had purchased another chicken comic at a con a while back and hadn't gotten around to reading yet.
Poof! Enter Bulletproof Chicken.

Bulletproof and his partner are on the case of the Cluck Twins. BP doesn’t let people do bad shit in his city and live to talk about it. He’s been doing this for years. It’s just another day for the cock with a glock. Today would be different . . . sold.

This adventure starts with Bulletproof Chicken chicken-kicking his way through the wall of a restaurant while dropping a plethora of F-bombs. Shortly thereafter (one panel to be exact), BP and his partner Ed engage the evil lizard men behind the counter in a gun battle of epic proportions. Now, during this fight there is a guy in the background happily eating a chicken leg. At first I just thought this was meant to be some kind of corny ironic chicken nod. It turns out it kinda was because after all the Cluck Twin’s lizard lackeys are all dead, BP chicken-kicks a door in and there is Lisa, his hen, tied to a chair her left leg nothing but a bloody nub. That’s right, the Cluck Twin’s evil lizard lackeys fried it up and served it to the previously mentioned guy in the background. Kirkman, eat your heart out. That’s some demented shit.

Now enraged, BP puts on his mean face and chicken-kicks in another door (obviously his preferred method of dramatic entry) and faces off with one of the Cluck Twins. Bulletproof ends up blasting a cap in the evil doers face, but as it turns out Bulletproof isn’t so bulletproof and he is slain.

Fast forward 8 years into the future and Ed, BP’s old partner, is married with children to BP’s ex-wife (who now sports a robotic chicken leg). Ed gets a phone call from his old chief of police and is called in to inspect a crime scene. The scene is mass carnage with dead lizard dudes all hacked up and mutilated. Ed leaves the scene and shortly (2 panels to be exact) is busting in a room and there sits the Cluck Twin that was not shot 8 years earlier. As it turns out Ed and this Cluck Twin were in cahoots. The twin wanted his brother out of the picture and apparently Ed had a thing for BP’s wife. The two planned the whole attack 8 years earlier.
Bastards.

Shortly after Ed leaves (3 panels to be exact) he turns around and goes back in the Cluck’s office. He returns to find dead lizard lackeys and the evil Cluck Twin dead. The Cluck has a knife protruding from his forehead with a Business card from the restaurant where Bulletproof was killed. Ed rushes home but finds his hen and chicks murdered. With nothing to lose Ed heads to the aforementioned restaurant. Once inside Ed is confronted by the Cluck Twin who had been murdered 8 years prior in this very establishment. After the brief flash back ( 2.5 pages to be exact) explains that the Cluck had bionic part implants to cheat his way out of death. He explains how he also saved Bulletproof in the same manner. His plan was to control BP and make him do his bidding. Not long after this revelation (5 panels to be exact) as if on cue...BP crashes through the door again except this time he looks exactly like Robocop with a beak and robo-chicken legs. Then we are blessed with watching Robo-Bulletproof Chicken kill every living thing in the building (6 pages to be exact).
The End.

So, I confess, I was entertained. The story and characters were hilarious. I never take life to seriously. I will say the artwork could have been a bit more detailed. It was pretty bland in parts and came off as rushed and sloppy, but not to the point it hurt my eye holes. If given the chance I’d buy the 2nd issue in a heartbeat (7 heartbeats to be exact). Bulletproof Chicken now has a home in the mythical short box of awesome right next to Undead Zombie Biker Chickens From Hell. I guess I’ll need to make an official chicken section divider now . . . know what I mean Vern?

Interview with Ryan Browne 2014

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, mollusks and Protozoa, if you're unfamiliar with the work of Ryan Browne you're doing yourself and the world of comics a disservice. Browne has worked on Bedlam, The Manhattan Projects, Smoke & Mirrors and various other sundry books. His penultimate funnybook is God Hates Astronauts. From its humble beginnings as a DIY indie book, GHA has steamrolled it's way to Image Comics and is now on Volume 2.
I hear it outsells The Walking Dead.
That's a complete lie. I've never heard that.

In the past, the Hammond Comics Blog has wrangled Ryan Browne and squeezed an interview or two out of him (found in our interview archive), and we figured it was about time for another 7 Questions with Ryan Browne.
So without much further ado about nothing:

Hammond Comics Blog Question #1: If God Hates Astronauts was ice cream, what flavor would it be?

Ryan Browne: Uh, seriously? Well clearly it would be Neapolitan Astronaut Ice Cream! NEXT QUESTION!

HCB Question #2: Do you prefer to comic book sober or buzzed on adult beverages?

RB: Stone cold sober! I save my drinkin' for answering interview questions.

HCB Question #2.5: Which one of your characters would you most like to be stranded on a deserted island with?

RB: The Impossible, of course! She could get me the hell out of there! MORE QUESTIONS, PLEASE.

HCB Question #3: What’s your favorite flavor of Snopple?

RB: Cran-Rasapple Pina-Coloda.

HCB Question #4: Have you ever driven a forklift?

RB: Funny you should ask that. I am currently driving one to Montana! I should really pay attention to the road instead of answer these-- OH $#!+!!!

HCB Question #5: Who is your favorite bearded man and why?

RB: I don't know who is, but I will tell you which bearded man isn't. This cop that is currently arresting me for vehicular homicide with a forklift has a big beard and I hate him.

HCB Question #6: In the event of a zombie apocalypse what would be your weapon of choice ?

RB: Well since I will be in jail for the rest of my life, I think I'll just sleep through the apocalypse in a comfy cell.

HCB Question #7: As a comic book writer do you consider having one or more extra nipples a super power?

RB: How can you ask me questions like this when I am facing a life sentence because of your stupid interview! I killed a man with a forklift and it is all your fault! CURSE YOU HAMMOCK COLON BLORG!!!

We at the Hammock Colon Blorg would like to thank Ryan Browne for his participation and continued support. I encourage all of you to buy his books, multiple copies even, as Mr. Browne is facing hefty legal fees in light of his recent forklift mishap.
With good behavior he should be eligible for parole in time for Hulk Hogans 90th birthday party.

Interview by: Cody "Madman" Miller

REVIEW: Wildfire Vol 1

Writer: Hawkins, Matt
Artist: Sejic, Linda
Review: Art Bee

Over the last two decades there has been a growing concern with the rising population and food production. “We’ll need to produce 70% more food by 2050 to sustain a world population expected to grow to 10 billion.” (http://techcrunch.com/2014/11/20/farm-2050/; accessed 11/20/14) With numbers like that, how can we produce more food with the same amount of land and resources? The answer is we can’t. This leads us to either finding more land and resources capable of growing crops or finding another scientific solution. Matt Hawkins and Linda Seijic have used this concept in their science fiction tale, Wildfire, from Image.

In Wildfire a group of scientists headed by botanist Dan Miller are working to solve this future dilemma by manipulating growth processes resulting in plants growing in a fraction of the normal time. At the beginning of the series the scientists are forced to give a demonstration before they are ready. They use a dandelion enclosed in a glass casing. The dandelion grew from a seed to a flower and the produced seeds in less than a minute. This was the success they were looking for, but due to an unfortunate clumsy accident the case was broken. This triggers the cascade of events that leads to the destruction of Los Angeles by plants taking over. “Wildfire” is the code name used by the government to indicate the uncontrolled spread of a biological agent.

Could you imagine the frantic “perfect lawn” people trying to keep ahead on dandelions that grow in less than a minute? That would be the death of many older people from the sheer heart attack rates alone.

This series from being to end (all four issues) was just incredible. Matt Hawkins built and conducted the story perfectly. Wildfire stayed on track and to the point while building great suspense. The characters were very dynamic and realistic with a spotlight-eager journalist, guilt driven scientist, and protocol bound military officer (just to mention a few).

Linda Sejic is a brilliant artist. Each issue is filled with beautiful and elegant artwork. In issue #3 (I believe), the reporter team is driving in a van. The image is looking at them through the windshield, and the windshield is reflecting the trees and surrounding objects without any loss in detail. Even all of her covers are absolutely gorgeous.

Wildfire was not listed as a mini-series which left me pretty sad when I found out that issue #4 was the last installment. At the end of the series they announce that Wildfire Vol. 2 will be in Fall of 2015. They give us the teaser showing that the plants have affected the insect population. Now if that does not sound exciting, you are not any kind of science fiction fan. The trade paperback for the series will be out on Dec. 3 for the awesome price of $14.99. I would suggest grabbing it and getting ready for the wildfire of insects next year. I hope people are stockpiling cans of Raid.

REVIEW: Death of Wolverine

Writer: Charles Soule
Penciller: Steve McNiven
Inker: Jay Leisten
Colorist: Justin Ponsor
Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos
Review by: Alexander J. Diaz

Wolverine, Weapon X. Logan, or any of the other names he has been called over the years, is one of Marvel’s top characters. Almost everybody loves him, or at least loves the action in his books. It's weird that such an amoral character has become such a guiding force in Marvel Comics, but he has and many thought he would always be there.

That fact has brought about this comic. The Big Two know that the only thing that sells more comics than a war or a crisis is killing a character, and killing a character that cannot die makes a good story. That is what put Marvel on the path to this comic, and (not-such-a-spoiler alert!) Wolverine does die. The problem is that if you’re taking the time to read this review then you know that comic characters come back to life all the time, so it loses its edge after a while.

We all know that Wolverine is coming back, especially since he has a new movie coming out in a few years. That means that the character will probably be brought back right before the movie premiers. The thing I take from this is that Wolverine will be out of the Marvel universe for a few years. That’s a long period of time to kill a top name character, so it is interesting move. I definitely went into this comic wondering how they would pull it off in a way that respected the character, and left you with the feeling of how are they going to get him out of this death. Oddly enough I think they did pull it off.

I loved the detail in the story, and the fact that they stayed true to the character. Logan went to his end alone, and that is how it should be. Wolverine is the loner of any team he is a part of, so making him face death alone was very necessary and believable. The other thing I liked was they didn’t show the antagonist’s eyes until Wolverine had the edge and that was only to show the fear he put in them. Before that moment it made the villain seem soulless, and I like little nuances that a reader only notices if he is looking for them, but play on your emotions even if you don’t notice. My biggest problem here is explaining how well they killed off Wolverine without ruining the book for the reader, so I won’t explain it. I’ll just say it was symbolically great, respectful of the character, and left the reader feeling, “how the hell are they going to bring him back from that?”

The coloring in this book was also great. The artist set the book right before sunset making the beginning very colorful and bright, not the dark tone you expect from a book that is going to be killing a character, but that's the point. This book isn’t about mourning Logan’s death, but celebrating the great life of the character. Even when Logan enters the baddies lair the colors don’t get dark, just cooler. It lets the reader know that Logan is ready to face his end if he must, and he does. The end of the book brings the colors back to their original palette of reds and oranges as the reader sees the sunset. It is great symbolism. We know it is Logan’s end, but we also know, thanks to the sun analogy that the artist throws your way, that the sun will rise again because it always does.

The lettering was great, but the awesome thing about this book was that it had more panels without the need for lettering than most. Logan is a character that lets his actions do the talking, and so it was for most of the panels for the book. It was more about the visuals, and as a comic reader, the pictures are what I am here to see. If the panels can do their jobs without words then I applaud the artists and writers of that book.

In the end, this book was great and actually very fitting for the character. I’m actually going to be sad when they bring him back because I don’t think they will ever be able to top this death for him. I like what the writer and artists did with this book and wish that all titles for the Big Two took this kind of care and detail into each story. I know this review is short, but without being able to go into detail for risk of ruining the story for those yet to read it I think it covers every aspect it can about this great story, so read this book if you can.

REVIEW: Second Avenue Caper

Writer: Joyce Brabner
Artist: Mark Zingarelli
Review: Will Dubbeld

The medium of graphic sequential storytelling is a funny one. Dozens of throwaway books are published per month, from major publishers to basement indies. All of these books are important to the preservation and propagation of the media but every so often a book is published that is important on a broader scale.

Second Avenue Caper is one of those books.

Many of our readers were not yet born in the early 1980s, many others young enough to only remember them through a hazy memory, like Vaseline smeared on a camera lens. The remainder, however, will vividly remember those early days when HIV first became prevalent, first as a problem relegated to the gay community, then becoming more widespread and branded an epidemic. Second Avenue Caper harkens back to those early days as a tightly knit group of friends in New Yorks gay community battles misconceptions, lack of medical care, and a general lack of public awareness about HIV/AIDS. The focal character is a nurse named Ray who takes to selling marijuana, first in order to supplement income, then to bankroll missions of mercy.

Experimental drug treatments that would alleviate the symptoms of HIV were available in Mexico at the time, not FDA approved, and this meant smuggling. Ray and his companions use the money from peddling drugs, favors garnered from running errands for the mob, and a sense of familial obligation to make runs across the Mexican border and secure medication for their community.

Although Second Avenue Caper seems largely framed around an altruistic moneymaking and smuggling scheme, the core of the book is about Ray and his group of friends. This is where Brabner's gift as a storyteller shines. The characters are bound, in many cases tighter than their own families, unified and fighting for the gay community and the lives of their peers. A rather sizable group of friends at the beginning of the book dwindles as members die, one by one, driving home the intense feeling of mortality that flows through Second Avenue Caper. Names, likenesses and locations are changed throughout the story, but the events depicted are true and serve as an excellent reminder of a darker time in our society, a heartfelt tribute to those who were there at the beginning, and those who didn't make it through.

I said before that I believe Second Avenue Caper to be an important book, showcasing a piece of American history that doesn't see much exposure in the comics industry. I don't mean in the way that Strangers in Paradise, or Bone, or Watchmen are important.
I believe it's important to society as a whole, not just amongst graphic novelists and comic book readers.

No time for love, Dr. Strange

Post: William R. Davis, Jr.

My love of comics was inherited from my much older brother. Being 15 years my elder and a social outcast, this meant two things: we had plenty in common, and he had an old light blue Oldsmobile that made plenty of visits to the comic shop. Once arriving there was plenty left of his part-time supermarket paycheck to get a nod from the man working behind the counter. Those were some nice memories of simpler times.

Although the Sorcerer Supreme can no longer boast a monthly title of his own, there has been plenty of talk recently about his upcoming feature film which could prove to be pretty exciting. Marvel should’ve chosen to revisit the old Asian stereotypes of Ditko and Lee’s initial Strange Tales. Those first four issues were the best hands down. There are undoubtedly plenty of people who would disagree, but I would argue: “What’s better than ancient Tibetan high fantasy and the dark arts?”
Boom. Argument won. There’s nothing better.

While most covet Strange Tales #110, give me #111. I can easily afford an 8.5 CGC #111, and instead of getting Johnny Storm confounded by mirrors on the cover, I can see him battling Asbestos Man, someone I am sure my brother faced at some point being a child of the 70s and 80s.
I heard they used it to make soup after they pulled it from the public school walls.

Marvel should’ve taken a moment to do something different with the casting, and methinks they need to kick Kahn to the curb, although we all know that this will never happen.
Nothing against Cumberbatch, though.
He’s pretty good for a white guy.
My point is this: Tibet, Greenwich Village, and black magic is a guaranteed box office hit. It would sure make me happy, anyway. Marvel street cred is at an all time high after Guardians of Galaxy, so I will buy a ticket hoping that it is incredible. At the very least it will give me a license to bitch about it with impunity. I can already see the fanboys on Twitter picking nits right now. I think we can all agree that the worst thing that can happen is a visit from the Ghost of the Last Samurai.
There is a reason that I am not the CEO of a blue chip company. In addition to being dangerously unqualified, it would’ve been awesome to watch the internet explode after saying that Marvel Studios has just cast Tom Cruise as the next Dr. Strange in an otherwise all Asian production. That would definitely be good for a grin.