REVIEW: Inhumans vs X-Men #1

Writer: Charles Soule & Jeff Lemire

Penciler: Leinil Francis Yu

Inker: Gerry Alanguilan

Colorist: David Curiel

Review: Cody "IdentityCrisis" Miller

I’m way out of my element here, Donny. I don’t read or keep up with the X-Men or the Inhumans much…and by much I mean hardly ever. The last real X-Men book I can recall reading was a few years back when the X-Men were battling it out with the Avengers during AvX. I have a hard enough time keeping up with the Spider-verse let alone the stamina to keep up with Terrigen Clouds and Captain Laser-eye’s day to day...maybe if they had made better movies.

Thanks to the nifty “we put this here for you in case you don’t read X-Men or Inhuman books” section on the title page, I learned the Terrigen Mists,which are so precious to the Inhumans, have somehow suddenly become toxic to mutant-kind. Well, Cyclops just wasn’t going to let that crap happen on his watch, and well, Black Bolt killed the shit outta Cyclops.

I could applaud that. I have never been a fan of Cyclops and in fact I’d go so far as to say I hate him. I can’t really give you a justified reason as to why…it’s a long-lived hate, too. I’m glad he’s dead…again.

So, the X-people and the Inhuman-people somehow came to some sort of truce after Black Bolt killed the shit outta Cyclops. During that time, Beast was doing what Beast does and sciences the shit outta how to fix the Inhumans' gas problem. As it turns out Beast concludes there are only two options:

 #1 all mutants leave the planet

-or-

 #2 dead mutants everywhere…

So, of course the leadership of Magneto and Emma Frost decided the only option is to go to War with the Inhumans…

Ffs, why do the X-Men always have to start some shit? I will say that after the traditional X-Men pre-battle, two-day discussion and the finial majority vote, the action comes pretty fast and hard. Emma and Dazzler seem to do Black Bolt some damage, Jean has Karnak occupied, and Fantomex took out Lockjaw…

Right at this very moment in the comic is where I decided I didn’t want to read it anymore. I mean, Fantomex literally takes out Lockjaw with a drugged piece of meat…explain this...Fantomex…who…with tainted freaking meat.

On the reals, though, this wasn’t a bad book but it wasn’t all that good, either. I could obviously care less about the content, I was just looking for a “fun” read of something new and, well, it was new. I will say if I had noticed the $6 price tag at the time of purchase there most likely wouldn’t have been a purchase. Fact. No way. Sure, it might have had a few extra pages and a fancy thick card cover but meh. Same ol’ same ol’ as far as that goes. As far as the art goes it was undoubtedly the high point of the book for me. Yu, Alanguilan, and Curiel get mad props for carrying the load, but they still lose points because they should have walked out and quit when Lemire or Soule suggested Lockjaw < Fantomex’s tainted meat.

Inexcusable.