REVIEW: Psycho Bonkers #1

Today at the HCB, we’ve decided to mix things up a bit and have feature writer Art Bee and his daughter Ally (age 8) review the same book. Look for more amazingly amazing innovations from the Hammond Comics Blog in the near future, but without further ado here’s The Hammond Comics Blog Super-Hero Father/Daughter Team-Up!

Story: Vince Hernandez
Artwork: Adam Archer
Colors: Federico Blee
Reviews: Ally Bee (1st) & Art Bee (2nd)

First Review-
I really liked Psycho Bonkers. The artwork is very outstanding. The colors are pretty, and there is a lot of detail. The cars look really cool, too. Shine, the main person, lost her Mom and her Grandpappy, but she was as good a bonk racer as her Grandpappy. The best part about the comic is the futuristic racing.

Second Review-
Prior to this book the only other exposure to Aspen Comics I have had was Fathom, Vol. 1. Fathom had some truly awesome artwork, but the story was dry, slow, and a bit torturous. Psycho Bonkers has given me some hope on the latter for Aspen.

Shine is the main character of Psycho Bonkers. She is a third generation bonk racer, and her bonk, which is a robotic, sentient racer, is named Shiza after her mother. There is not a lot of depth to Shine, but she does have a colorful personality. I can understand how children, like Ally (8 years old), can really get behind this character.

The writer has set up the start of an entertaining story. The hero is very relatable to the apparent target audience, children. The antagonist is Shine’s father’s bonk, Fuel. I think my favorite character is Shiza. That bonk has an interesting personality and I like the video emoticons the car uses to convey feelings and meanings. Vince has done a good job introducing the characters and some of the back story, but I really feel like there is a lack of direction and, um . . . what do you call it . . . oh yeah . . . a definitive plot.

I have to stand and applaud the work of Adam Archer and Federico Blee. The artwork is gorgeous! Archer includes such a level of detail without going overboard. His lines are playful and deliberate while is style is a blend of cartoonish realism. That is before Blee gets a hold of it. This guy does not just color the art, he bleeds life into it. The colors are vivid and jump out at you. He also does not blend colors but his shading uses hard colors with hard edges. Trust me, it works. I would have not believed it unless I saw it.

This comic was fun to flip through, but it was a bit dull for me to read. There is no rating on it, but it is definitely rated E for everyone, which translates to kids. That is why I like my rating turned on the side as M for mature audiences.

Kid approved. Parent approved JUST for kids.

REVIEW: Spider-Woman #7

Writer: Dennis Hopeless
Penciler: Javier Rodriguez
Inker: Alvaro Lopez
Colorist: Muntsa Vicente
Review: Cody "Madman" Miller

I have been enjoying the hell out of this title; I’d literally give every issue a thumbs up. Now, one could argue that my man crush on Spider-Man has somewhat biased my opinion towards his female spider-kin, and I’m sure that’s about right. No doubt my puberty-infested, angst-ridden younger self eagerly snatched handfuls of the early 80s Jessica Drew books . . . because . . . Spider-Man with boobies! The early 90s ushered in Vol. 2 with its amazing run of four issues and I was there. Mattie Franklin takes up the mantle in Vol 3 in the mid to late 90s and pretty much sealed the deal for me there. I don’t care how much my friends made fun of me, I stood behind Mattie then and I stand behind her now. Comics and I went our separate ways for a number of years about the time that run was coming to an end, so I don’t know those other gals that were after Mattie. I’m sure they were nice . . .

Yeah, I was super excited for the present day (vol. 5, by my count) incarnation of Spider-Woman.
Jessica Drew, in her own series again, has just recently left the Avengers in hopes of living a “normal” life.
Spoiler alert! That’s not going to happen.

The current story arc has She-Spidey teamed up with the gottdamn Porcupine! That’s right, I said the Porcupine. Fantastic! More then anything in comics I love D-list super villains. More specifically I love the D-listers who are so ridiculous that they refuse to go away, for example, the gottdamn Porcupine. Or how about the Kangaroo who’s endearing mug graces the cover of this very issue? The best team-up ever is investigating the disappearances of a large number of the families of super villains. Towards the end of this issue it’s revealed that these families are all living in some kind of beret-wearing militant feminist commune that is apparently run by some as of yet unknown dame named Cat. On the last page of the book Cat bursts through the wall to confront Spider-Woman, now when I first saw Cat referenced I immediately assumed we were talking about the Black Cat here, so you can imagine my surprise when Cat turns out to be an enraged psycho operating some sort of Caterpillar backhoe/super robot mech suit kinda thing . . . Yeah, it's intense but at least Porcupine is here to save the gottdamn day.

As for the spit and polish, the writing has been fresh and fun and the art has been fantastic. It’s to bad Marvel is about to jack up the MU and this and many other good books all in the name of their newest “mega event” . . . and that’s a shame

Buncha dicks . . .

Free Comic Book Day 2015

First Saturday in May. Free Comic Book Day. It's like Nerd Christmas, but the weather is better.
Every year the stalwart staff of the Hammond Comics Blog treks across the urban landscape and visits brick and mortar shops for funnybooks and perhaps door prizes and snacks.
A sampling of our collective FCBD loot is reviewed herein.

Reviewer: Art Bee

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Publisher: IDW
Writer: Kevin Eastman, Bobby Curnow, & Tom Waltz
Art: Mateus Santolouco, Dan Duncan, Ross Campbell, & Cory Smith

This was not the first book I grabbed, but it was the first I read, and it was truly a difficult read. The story was hard to follow mainly due to all of the recapping. I believe this book was to bring new people to reading the ongoing series, but the problem with their approach revolves around their delivery. They are recapping in a language fitting for people familiar to the story line. This made me feel like I walked into a women’s conversation about menstrual cramps. Awkward and out of place.

The artwork shifted from really good to slightly distorted, but the colors were great.
As an aside, I would have really liked to have seen April. She only appears in one small poorly done panel. A huge demerit issued to them from those of us who used to have a massive crush on this fine news reporter.

And Then Emily was Gone #0
Publisher: Comix Tribe
Story: John Lees
Art: Iain Laurie

When I was in high school, a pair of schoolmates were drinking and driving which resulted in them running their truck off the road, colliding into a telephone pole and a tree with a couple of rolls in between. The resulting scene looked better than what is contained in And then Emily Was Dead #0. It does not make sense and the artwork looks horrid. It was truly something to give away. To have paid for this you would have to have severe astigmatism, acute near-sightedness, and a pair of broken glasses.

Fortunately the second half of the comic book contains a preview of Oxymoron: Counterclockwise by Tyler James and Alex Cormack. This was a decent read and the artwork is fantastic. I have never read any Oxymoron comic, but I think I am going to have to start. The character Oxymoron is fantastically heinous. The closest comparison would be the Joker since they are both chaotic and violent.

Alex molds Oxymoron’s facial expressions in great ways. Those expressions are some of the best bits of artwork I have seen lately.

Steampunk Goldilocks #1
Publisher: Antarctic Press
Story and Art: Rod Espinosa

Steampunk is not normally my thing. This spin of the classic fairytale of Goldilocks was pretty entertaining. Goldilocks and her partner Miss Muffet get a job from the Dark Queen, whom no one would dare cross. The Dark Queen wants them to break into the home of the three bears, or Ursiforms, to steal the “Golden Bear”. Goldilocks and Muffet leave in their armored steam tank and go to the bear’s home, where Goldi goes to the door with an awesome looking assault rifle.

That is all you get, but let’s face it. It is the story of Goldilocks.

The artwork is fantastic: voluptuous blonds in low-cut dresses and corsets drawn with generous proportions. What’s not to love?

Reviewer: Cody "Madman" Miller

Lady Justice
Writer: C.J. Henderson
Penciler: Michael Netzer
Inker: Rick Magyar
Colorist: Tony Kelly

Total Shit . . . I could stop there, but I won’t.

Neil Gaiman apparently came up with the concept for the Lady Justice comic , and possibly wrote the first issue of the series and then C.J Henderson took over and wrote most or the rest of the series. I may have just made that up so don’t acknowledge it as fact. The important thing here is it’s not worth splitting hairs over, because the book is awful.
The entire series is apparently being dusted off and released as a collected volume or volumes. Don’t buy it. The story is a flat line and the art is even deader…I’ve said this before: leave the 90’s alone. If it sucked then, it sucks even more now. I hated it so much that even though it was free I still feel ripped off.

Mercury Heat
Writer: William Christensen
Artwork: Omar Francia

Mercury Heat was my favorite read if my FCBD plunder. It’s all about this woman who wants to be a police officer in a futuristic world. As it turns out her personality doesn’t fit within the parameters of police personalities and she is forbidden. So…she moves to the planet Mercury and becomes a mercenary cop, a really ruthless one. It has a real Robocop kinda feel, even though she’s not part machine and neither is her name Murphy . . . It’s been done. That being said the writing wasn’t horrible and the artwork was above average. I have to be honest my favorite part of the book was the what-have-you in that back of the issue where the creative team offers you note pad sketches and a breakdown of life of Mercury. My second favorite thing about this comic was the promo for Alan Moore’s new book Providence. Mercury Heat drops in July but I think I’m going to let this one pass me by. Cops in space are becoming the new zombies . . . I’m tired boss, dead tired.

Reviewer: Will Dubbeld

Bodie Troll/Drone/Creature Academy
Writers: Jay Fosgitt, Scott Chitwood, Kevin Konrad Hanna, David Fagan
Art: Jay Fosgitt, Randy Kintz, Kevin Konrad Hanna, Erich Owen, Grant Bond, Mirana Revier
Publisher: Red 5 Comics

From the studio that brought you Atomic Robo comes Bodie Troll! Whereas Atomic Robo is a superscience, fringe-steampunk action book, Bodie Troll is a cartoonish fantasy romp featuring a cuddly looking bridge troll that bums around a tavern called The Drunken Pumpkin that is managed by a fairy godmother.
I love this book.
Bodie Troll is full of hijinx and family friendly shenanigans worthy of a Saturday morning cartoon, if there still were Saturday morning cartoons. This particular story featured Bodie Troll on an errand to buy more cider for the Drunken Pumpkin only to get drunk on root beer and get married to the brewers daughter in a wedding officiated by a stuffed animal.
Super fun, you guys.

The other two stories in the book were less engaging. Drone is a sci-fi story about a counter-terrorist team composed of remote piloted military androids. The story and art were okay, and it did feature a terrorist goat so it had that going for it. Creature Academy appears to be another variation on the Tim Hunter/Harry Potter/Anakin Skywalker theme of "magic prodigy child is the chosen one", which is played out as far as I'm concerned.
Pass.

The art on all three stories was great, and despite some of the lacking script content I enjoyed this sampler a great deal.

The Tick
Script: Jeff McCelland, Benito Cereno
Art: Duane Redhead, Les McClaine

Okay, Spoon! and whatnot. Everybody loves Ben Edlunds oafish, nigh-indestructible big blue lover of justice and his hapless (and somewhat nebbish) sidekick Arthur.
Regardless if you discovered The Tick via comic books, a swell cartoon, or an ill-fated live action television show, you love him.

If you don't, you're a terrible person and I'm no longer fond of you.

The 2015 Tick book featured 3 short stories, the first of which dealt with Tick and Arthur saving the city from a big toothy green creature with the help of a kazoo and the ghost of Ticks former sidekick, Roger.

The second story uncovered the mystery of what happened to The Tick at the bottom of pg. 19 in Tick #1.
I have not read Tick #1, but the series doesn't exactly make itself a slave to continuity and multipart sagas, so I was able to keep up.
Apparently Tick has passed out and the following pages chronicle the adventures of his unconscious body as it is used as a skateboard ramp, the ammunition for a uvula smacking device, and the extra body allowing a sinister commuter to use the carpool lane.
Tick awakens and mistakes himself for a choco taco; takes part in a hobo tea party, and finally end up somewhat cognizant of his surroundings in a subway tunnel.
Fantastic.

Our final tale details the exploits of Tick and Arthur as they stand in line for the art museum only to be continually pulled away to battle rock-men, supervillains, tidal waves, the Greek god Zeus, and a monkey driving a tank.
As above, fantastic. I love inane superhero books like The Tick, Flaming Carrot, Madman, and Great Lakes Avengers, so this comic was certainly in my wheelhouse.

There you have it, folks. The HCBs assessment of some of the wonders Free Comic Book Day had to offer. I hope you enjoyed it, and if not, you get what you pay for.
We’ll see ya next year, kids!

REVIEW: Justice League Dark #40

Writer: J.M. DeMatteis
Penciller: Andres Guinaldo
Review: Will Dubbeld

I'm not shy about expressing my dislike for DCs Nu52. Borderline hatred, really. I understand the logic behind the original Crisis on Infinite Earths. The company's continuity had been bogged down by Silver Ages and Earth-12s and all kinds of convoluted types of Kryptonite. Resetting the timeline and universe made sense. Flashpoint and the dreck it has wrought, however, is in no way bueno. I could launch a lengthy diatribe detailing whys and who's and whatnots, but I'll spare you, Loyal Readers, the pain.

Fanboy pouting aside, Flashpoint wiped clean my beloved DCU and replaced it with 52 new titles, amongst them Justice League Dark. My curiosity was piqued as I've a love for the supernatural. Dr. Strange, Dr. Fate, Man-Thing, Swamp Thing, Hawkman reincarnations and all the Rintrah you can eat. Gimmie all of that. Justice League Dark had a knockout cast of characters and killer scribe Peter Milligan at the helm when the book launched, so I bit. DC had me for 2.99.

Because, y'know, DC Comics is drawing the line at 2.99 . . .

Unfortunately, JLD did not deliver. Some of the early arcs were fair to good, but nothing melted my face off like a book with Swamp Thing, Frankenstein’s Monster, and the House of Mystery should have.

I dunno, maybe DCs stellar editorial is to blame but only by a mixture of ankle-chewing Chihuahua-like tenacity and plain dumb loyalty did I stick with this book. Milligans tenure came and went; Jeff Lemire stepped up to the plate and pitched for a couple of innings, and J.M. DeMatteis finished out the series.

Now, DeMatteis has written some stellar books, some jaw-droppingly good and important comics.

Justice League Dark is not amongst them.

I'm not even saying this as a bitter old bastard fanboy; I'm convinced that JLD is just legitimately sub-par work. The latest arc involved the League attempting to stave off a universe-consuming force called Pralaya. For the rubes, including myself before some quick research, Pralaya is a term in Hindu mythology detailing a period of dissolution where there exists nothing but void. That's an extremely dumbed down explanation. Pralaya has several incarnations involving the lifetime of Brahma and the rebirth of the universe and the non-existence of existence and other deeply philosophical and thought provoking themes that are cause for head scratching.

But whatever, Crom laughs at your Pralaya.

Anyhow, this issue of Justice League Dark finds all of creation destroyed save the House of Mystery and some magical simulacra of Zatanna and John Constantine. Pralaya soon will claim the House of Mystery and its occupants and all will be swallowed by oblivion.

So can we talk about Nu52 John Constantine for a minute? Fans of the dear departed Hellblazer series know where I'm going with this . . .
Constantine used to be a very subtle magician, weaving coincidental magic using the reliquary of Saint Dismas and the breath of a starling as it flew overhead or somesuch. Hellblazer wasn't about the magic so much as it was about the John Constantine character, his numerous flaws and relative few strong points, his interactions with an endless list of doomed friends, lovers and acquaintances, and occasionally he hung out with Morpheus and Swamp Thing.

On the other hand, Nu52 Constantine pals around with superfolks, blasting lightning bolts from one hand and wielding a +4 longsword in the other, and his characterization can be boiled down to, "Oi! I can't be trusted and I'm kind of a prick! But without the nuances and charm I once had! Fancy a shag, love?"

Nu52 John Constantine is basically dickhead Dr. Strange, but nowhere near as endearing.

But whatever, at least he still smokes.

In any case, the swan song of JLD is barely a warble. The story plods a bit, and then neatly wraps itself up with a bright spot in the clever use of Swamp Thing, his connection to the World Tree, and use of The Green to rebirth the multiverse after its consumption by Pralaya. I quite enjoyed that bit of writing.

At the end of the day, the League disbands because surprise nobody can trust Constantine and surprise Constantine is abandoned and alone at the end.

Get it? Because that's his thing? All his friends either leave him or they get killed?

It's utterly disappointing, because with the exception of the reprehensibly terrible Nightmare Nurse character, all of the other cast members were potentially great.
Zatanna, Swamp Thing, Deadman, Madame Xanadu, all of these are great, well established (albeit largely B-Grade) characters who have been underutilized and mishandled in this series. I stuck it out for the duration in hopes that the book would pick up, but I just saw diminishing returns every month.
Perhaps a more entertaining treatment of the Justice League Dark will appear after Convergence or Crisis pt. 6 or whatever DC inflicts upon us this year. Here's to hoping...

On the bright side the issue I purchased featured a variant cover homage to the Beetlejuice movie poster, so that was fun.

Unfortunately the fun, for the most part, stopped at the front cover.

Swing and a miss, DC.

Swing and a miss . . .