REVIEW: Civil War II: Gods of War #1

Writer: Dan Abnett
Artist: Emilio Laiso
Review: Will Dubbeld

Beware! Here there be spoilers!

This Civil War, pt. Deux is a divisive thing, my friends.
I assure you I wasn't trying to be clever there . . .
Admittedly many of my nerd friends are taking a pass of Marvel's newest mega-event, and those who aren't have less than stellar things to report. I remain hesitantly optimistic, but I'm so far fairly underwhelmed. Character motivations seem grossly, well, out of character and from what I understand the whole event was unexpectedly shoehorned into the 2016 schedule via editorial/corporate mandate.
Because movie . . .

BUT! There's at least a couple of obligatory satellite books that could prove to be interesting. Marvel's Netflix's Daredevil's Kingpin is taking some stance or another in this Civil War. That piques my curiosity, but the man of the hour here is Hercules.
Always slated for the B-list, ol' Herc has been a perennial favorite of mine. A jolly, bearded (most of the time), drinkin', girl-chasin' superhero with a heart of gold!
What's not to like?
Also, he's frequently a charming dullard which endears him to me that much more.


Hercules' current outing is scripted by Dan Abnett, and I love this guy's work. Ever since he kicked down the door with his Guardians of the Galaxy reboot I've been regularly picking up what Abnett throws down, but this most current outing hasn't slaked my thirst like his previous comics.
It opens with Herc in a bar (good!) acting fairly morose and apparently on the wagon (boo . . .). Additionally, page two graces us with the presence of Amadeus Cho, and that's another sack of lackadaisical nonsense right there.

A brief aside, if you will:

I rather enjoyed Amadeus Cho when he first appeared in the Amazing Fantasy relaunch. A genius kid on the run from baddies that blew up his house and MacGuyvered his way out of trouble was a great concept. I even liked him as Hercules' sidekick, but he soon grew tiresome. The writing direction of his character arc shifted and he turned into a cocky shade of his former self. Now he's the Hulk and ,due to the events in the latest issue of Civil War, will be for some time.

That aside, the finest part of the issue shows us Herc and Hulk joining the fray depicted in the first part of Civil War II. Multitudes of heroes engaged in glorious battle against a Celestial Destructor! Herc throws himself into this orgy of destruction and then Abnett sets the reader up for a gut punch.
Whilst in the midst of battle, Hercules has a dialogue with She-Hulk (as superheroes are wont to do in the midst of battle) and she informs him, "Iron Man and Captain Marvel . . . called everybody together! Avengers, X-Men, Inhumans, Ultimates . . . everyone."

And what follows is the finest panel in the book and probably in any book I've read recently. It's a tiny panel. Almost insignificant. Hercules' face, mostly in shadow, head bowed, frowning, with a tiny bit of dialogue: "not me."

FUCK, that was damn near heartbreaking. Hercules, Prince of Power, formerly of Earth's Mightiest Heroes, the LITERAL mythological demigod son of Zeus, and he didn't get a courtesy call from his former teammates to come help save the world. I really felt for this fictional character. He didn't get picked last for the kickball team, he didn't get picked at all.

Unfortunately, after that brilliant snippet, I largely tuned out for the remainder of the comic. Mid-battle, Hercules is assaulted by a group called the Uprising Storm which is evidently a group of, "new gods born of the modern age, seeking to destroy their ancient counterparts."

It seems that Dan Abnett is among the many who have read Neil Gaiman's masterful book, American Gods, because this specific plot point is one of the prominent themes of the aforementioned novel. I'm not gonna hate on Dan Abnett for copy/pasting that particular bit into a Hercules comic book, but it does seem incredibly derivative. I will say this particular conflict did provide another great opportunity to smack Herc right in the self-esteem, however. Apparently only he could see the members of the Uprising Storm, so the other heroes only saw him, "raving and thrashing like a madman." Another great snippet by Dan Abnett.

I discovered there must be a current or at least fairly recent Hercules book that somehow flew under my radar, because we jump to Herc and a collection of other minor mythological figures (including C-list Avenger Gilgamesh) hanging out in Hercules' apartment in Queens. One of the prognosticating members of Herc's motley crew tells him the Uprising Storm has cursed him to become the God of Chaos and he begins to spiral into a "woe is me" routine. His fellows join in, keening about how screwed they are, until the oddly adorable landlady basically tells the lot of them to nut up and fight fate. She reminds them they're all gods and shouldn't roll over and accept the hand they've been dealt.

(Honestly, reading this through as I'm writing it is making me rethink my opinion of the book. Mid-review, even . . .)

Hercules agrees, and decides to assemble a team of old-school ass-kickers to fight back. In the final panels of the book he makes a call to an unknown party and tells them, "I'm putting the Gods of War back together."

(awkward silence)

Okay, I'm not 100% on board with some of what's going on here, but the remainder of this miniseries damn well better be an all-star ensemble cast of mythological Expendables wreaking untold havoc on the punk-ass new gods of iPhones and DirectTV. I know it has the Civil War II banner slapped on the cover, but I'm really hoping it's just a vehicle for Dan Abnett to deliver a story he wanted to tell anyway.
Even if has to do it under the auspices of a mega-event.

I'll finish out the miniseries regardless, but it'll either be with me high-fiving a fictional dream team of demigods or getting progressively grumpier as the issues drop.
Time will tell.