REVIEW: Vinegar Teeth #1

Script: Damon Gentry & Troy Nixey
Art: Troy Nixey
Lettering: Troy Nixey
Colors: Guy Major
Review: Cody "Madman" Miller

This is one bizarre comic conceived perhaps in the midst of an epic Hunter S. Thompson bender in the heart of bat country. After reading through the book once I promptly had to read it again just to see if I really did read what I thought I had read and to see if perhaps I missed something the first go around. It’s just that bizarre. What Gentry and Nixey have going here is some askew Lovecraftian tale crafted around the stereotypical buddy cop shtick.
Except it’s not so typical.

There is a cop named Artie Buckle whose career-making case is foiled as the mob boss he’s setting up is devoured by an alien creature best described as a bloated bladder-like puffball with mindflayer tentacles (on steroids), T.Rex-like arms ending in claws, and, of course, a mouth. The creature later adopts the name Vinegar Teeth, hence the title, and instead of killing the thing the cops hail Vinegar Teeth as a hero and put him on the payroll. In an unexpected turn of events Vinegar becomes Artie’s new partner, and they do what cops do.

There is so much wrong with this comic on so many levels and very little right. Besides the absurd plot, the dialogue and writing in general is just busted and on some panels plain hard to follow. Some of the dialogue is so out there, I’m left wondering if these guys were indeed doin’ the weed or if they just waited until five minutes before the book went to  print before they filled in the thought bubbles. There were literally whole pages where every balloon was just filled with the word, “blah”, “waldorf salad”, or “cullzathro”. The book also overused the sound effects, not only with illustration, but some characters actually said the sound effects as well. Don’t get me wrong: that technique can be fun and appealing if done correctly, such as the way Ryan Browne of God Hates Astronauts and Curse Words fame works it, but here it just added to the feeling that these guys really don’t care.

The writing wasn’t the only turn off for me. The artwork was pretty rough as well with the exception of the backgrounds (Nixey really nailed those), but everything else had a real off-putting air about it, especially Artie Buckle’s face and the blobby, bladder beast, Vinegar Teeth. My favorite part of the book was probably the coloring, which is pretty weird to say, and I’m not sure if I have ever said that about a comic before.

This whole book feels like an inside joke between the contributors, like dry, unfunny stand up comedy. Gentry and Nixey try to throw the horror, humor, science fiction, and crime genres into the Vinegar Teeth casserole but forgot to take it out of the oven. It really is hard to get a good read on where the hell this book is going, and after one issue it’s safe to say that I don’t have the energy or the patience to wait around and find out. Unless you’re the kind of person who likes rubbernecking at the preverbal train wreck or you’re into self-flagellation, I’d steer clear of this business.
On a scale of one to ten I’d give this book a solid shrug with a side of, “what?’.